Can't Live Without You - 2nd Edition

A few months ago I wrote a post about items that I couldn't live without.  I've quickly learned that must-have-items come and go so quickly. Some of the items that I couldn't live without in those first few months are hardly used nowadays. I thought I'd piece together another list of our must-have items over that we have found super duper helpful.


1. Play Mat - Peanut spends hours a day playing on this mat! It's super handy because it collapses down and can travel well and is also light weight so I can move it from room to room while carrying my daughter.  It is also handy to have removable toys so we can change them around to add variety.



2. Burp Cloths - These are the BEST! They are the perfect size and shape to fit on your shoulder. Super convenient for those up-chuck moments.


3. The Jumperoo - Peanut is still super duper little - weighing in at 12 lbs but she is super strong and I decided to try out the jumperoo about 3 weeks ago and she totally loved it. I put a pillow under her feet and stuffed the sides with blankets which does the trick.  She can spend up to 30 minutes at a time in it tinkering around independently.


4. Probiotics - We started on BioGaia (found at Costco at the pharmacy counter) after my lactation consultant recommended it for peanuts gas pains when she was 8 weeks old. I have noticed a huge improvement and will continue to give it to her daily for the long haul. You can give 1-5 drops daily but I've found 2 drops daily do the trick for her.


5. Wrist Rattles - A God sent! We strap these on peanut when we go in the car or when we are doing errands. She chews on them and checks them out. She isn't into her feet yet but once she is we will be using the sock style toys as well.


6. HoMedic Sound Spa Noise Machine - We were away at a cottage with 4 other children under 4 and found the noise machine completely blocked out all of the night time noise. We didn't even hear the baby in the room beneath our room cry in the night. The one we found is from Bed, Bath & Beyond and has 6 different sounds and can either stay on all night or shut off after 15, 30 or 60 minutes. Worth the $30 for sure. We use it every night.




Items that were on the previous list that are still can't live without you items;
1. Halo Swaddle Sleep sack
2. U shaped pillow
3. Two Camera Video Monitor
4. Natural Baby Wipes

Naps.

My life for the last four weeks...

 

Damn you sleep regression.

Tobermory

We just arrived home from a lovely mini vacation in Tobermory with some pretty spectacular people.  My childhood best friend who moved to the states 17 years ago invited us to join them at a family cottage. My husband and I jumped at the opportunity to be able to introduce our peanut to her and to spend some quality time with her and her beautiful family.  Although the weather wasn't the warmest, we had a great time. We visited over coffee, went to a kid friendly beach, and hiked the Bruce trail. It was perfect.  Peanut did amazing! Although her nap strike somewhat continued she slept like a champion through the nights and wasn't cranky the entire trip. I was apprehensive to take her away again since the weekend away four weeks ago didn't go so smoothly. Peanut is starting to rolling with the punches and I think she is slowly accepting the fact that her mom is a busybody and likes to be on the go a lot.



I can't seem to rotate this picture...

My husband and I were in charge of one day of meals for 6 adults and 4 kiddos when we were there.  Since I knew our visiting time was limited I wanted to prepare as much as possible ahead of time.  We decided on muffins, fruit and yogurt for breakfast, quiche for lunch and chili for dinner - both meals I made at home and transported them there. I've only made quiche once before so I wasn't sure how it was going to go but was happy with the outcome. Here is the recipe I came up with.

Ingredients
9 inch deep dish pie crust
1 cup milk (some people like to use half and half cream)
4 large eggs
1/2 cup shredded cheese
4 slices cooked bacon crumbled
1 cup of diced veggies (I used tomatoes, mushrooms, spinach, peppers, and onion)
salt and pepper to taste

Method
Use pie crust from frozen. Combine veggies, bacon and cheese and put into pie crust. In a bowl combine eggs, milk, salt and pepper and mix. Pour into pie crust and place on a baking sheet. Bake at 400 for 15 minutes then lower to 350 for 35-40 minutes. That is all. Super duper easy!

My husband and peanut checking out the Grotto on the Bruce Trail

Quick Shepherd's Pie

My three and a half month old has given up on naps for the last 1.5 weeks so finding time to do anything is a challenge. She closed her eyes for 25 minutes this morning so I thought I would use the time to get dinner made since my husband had to work late tonight and I likely wouldn't have a spare minute because of the nap strike. I had ground beef in the fridge so I thought a quick and easy Shepherd's pie that I could toss in the fridge until dinner would be a good idea.


Picture from here

Yield: 3-4 servings

Ingredients
1/2 lb extra lean ground beef
1/4 cup BBQ sauce
1/4 sweet onion, chopped
3/4 cup corn (or mixture of corn, peas and carrots)
4 medium potatoes, cubed (I keep skins on)3 tablespoons milk
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 cup sour cream
pinch of paprika
salt and pepper

Method
Boil a medium pot of water and add potatoes.  Boil until they are tender. While potatoes cook, in a frying pan over medium heat cook ground beef, onion and BBQ sauce. Cook until beef is no longer pink. Put beef mixture in the bottom of an oven safe dish and top with corn. Drain tender potatoes and add milk, garlic, sour cream, paprika, salt and pepper and mix using an electric mixture until smooth. Spread potato mixture over. Cook at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

Spicy Shrimp Pasta

I whipped up this pasta dish last night and it was awesome. It was super easy, delicious and it even has veggies in it so you don't have to serve it with a salad. Booya! Less work in the kitchen makes me happy these days. Enjoy!

Ingredients
24 small shrimp (I used frozen, precooked, peeled, devained, tails off shrimp)
spaghetti for two
1/2 tomato, diced
2 big handfuls of kale or spinach ripped into bite sized pieces
1/3 cup olive oil
1/4 cup parmesan cheese
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 teaspoons soya sauce
1/4 of a sweet onion, chopped
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes

Method
Cook pasta in boiling water. While the pasta cooks throw all ingredients into a frying pan and cook over medium heat for about 7 minutes, stirring regularly.  Drain noodles when they are tender and add them to the sauce. Toss until coated and serve.

Furry Floors

My chocolate lab is STILL shedding her enormously thick coat that she had during the ridiculously cold winter we had. This equates to tumbleweed type hair balls around the entire house.  There is so much fur that Robbie, our robotic vacuum can't even keep up with it. Two household items that I couldn't live without are my microfiber dust mop and my Rubbermaid Reveal spray mop. Both of these items can be used with one hand so I can use them no sweat while holding peanut. We used to own an actual Swiffer but I wasn't a fan of the cost of the cloths and it felt so wasteful to toss them out after each use.  I decided to purchase a reusable microfiber dust mop that I can toss in the wash at the end of every week. It works awesome, completely affordable and environmentally friendly. I decided on the Rubbermaid Reveal spray mop for three reasons. One; it has a washable cloth. Two; I could purchase an extra cloth. Three; I could use my own cleaner and didn't have to purchase a specific brand. I use both the dust mop and spray mop everyday and it honestly take less than 10 minutes. I no longer have fur tumbleweeds or doggy paw prints across my floors. Phew! I completely recommend purchasing both of these products.

Happy cleaning...

What the Fu$k?!

Don't forget to check out my WTF page every so often to see the latest thing that pissed me off.

 

 



Simple Pasta Bake for the Freezer

I mentioned in my previous post that were traveling to the Peterborough area to meet our peanuts boyfriend, Reid. He was precious as can be. Peanut did wonderfully in the car - over 7 hours round trip in one day! Ouch. Needless to say, next week we are taking it easy in hopes that babe gets back into her 'routine'. Anyways, I wanted to provide a freezer meal for the new parents to go along with the batch of cookies I made but it needed to be easy to transport. My husband and I found it so helpful when visitors brought food for us when our daughter first came home so I wanted to do the same thing for our friends.  Since my little one is my number one priority these days and keeps me pretty busy I needed a quick and easy dish to make. I decided on a basic pasta bake with cheese. This recipe made two freezer meals for the new parents.

Ingredients
1 box smart pasta
1 can pasta sauce
1 lb extra lean ground beef (so you don't have to drain the fat off)
1/4 sweet onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon of a mixture of parsley, rosemary, thyme, oregano and basal
salt & pepper
1 cup grated cheese to top
*if I were making this for myself I would have added a bunch of chopped kale or spinach but I didn't know how the new Dad felt about greens :)

Method
Boil water and cook pasta until it's el dante. While the pasta cooks put all remaining ingredients (except cheese and pasta sauce!) in a frying pan over medium heat and cook until the ground beef is no longer pink. Pour in pasta sauce. After draining the pasta pour into the sauce/meat mixture. Transfer to an oven safe dish and top with cheese. If baking from thawed state cover with foil and cook for 45 minutes at 350 degrees. For the last 25 minutes remove foil to allow the cheese to brown. If baking from frozen state cover with foil and cook for 1.5 hours at 350 degrees. For the last 25 minutes remove foil to allow the cheese to brown.

*I got these handy disposable containers from the dollar store. I keep them on hand for times like this.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies

This week is by far the busiest week we've had since the first week we had our peanut home. Sunday was spent in my hometown visiting with family, my Father came for a visit over night last night, we have family coming from the States today, tomorrow we welcome a very dear friend from Fort McMuarry and on the weekend we are traveling 10 hours round trip to visit of my best friends new little man. Crossing my fingers that our little peanut can handle all the hustle and bustle. I'm finding it difficult these days to do any cooking and baking since my daughters naps run about 45 minutes tops and there isn't time to get anything accomplished. Yesterday I managed to make a huge batch of peanut butter chocolate chip cookies while she sat on the counter in her chair (that she hates...). I made the cookies to have while company is here and to take with us on Saturday as a treat for the new parents. They have been a hit so far! Enjoy!

Yield: 36 medium cookies

Ingredients

½ cup butter, softened

¾ cup creamy peanut butter

¾ cup brown sugar

¾ cup white sugar

1 egg

2 tbsp milk

1 tsp vanilla

1¼ cup flour

¾ tsp baking soda

½ tsp baking powder

¼ tsp course sea salt (this is the key ingredient! Makes them taste amazing!)

¾ cup chocolate chips

Method

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cream butter, peanut butter, and both sugars together until well blended. Add in egg, milk and vanilla. Add flour, baking soda, baking powder and sea salt and mix until well combined. Toss in the chocolate chips. Place tablespoon sized dough on an ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 350 for about 10 minutes. Be careful -- the bottoms brown up quick so don't over cook them.  The key to a good cookie is having them slightly under baked. Chewy goodness!

 

Recipe adapted from here

Blessed

In the early morning hours I lay soundly asleep in my cozy bed. In the distance of my dream I hear the soft whimpers of my daughter. I roll over and see 5:12am in a red glow from my bedside table and glance slightly to the right of my alarm clock to the video monitor. I see my little peanut wiggling away in her crib waiting patiently for me to give her a diaper change and a quick morning snack before she dozes off again. Butterflies begin to flutter in my stomach at the realization that this isn't another one of my dreams, that it is in fact my reality. My beautiful, amazing reality. I shuffle quietly into her nursery and am greeted, as usual, but the most genuine smile I've ever seen. As we rock slowly, our limbs entwined, tired eyes locked with one another I am reminded just how lucky my husband and I are to have this beautiful, perfect baby to call our own.

There isn't a day that goes by that I am not reminded of how fortunate we are that modern technology was able to create this most perfect human being for us. There were times over the last few years that my largest fear of not being able to have a child of our own was almost a reality. Because of great doctors, amazing nurses, and IVF and I am able to spends hours gazing at my daughters gorgeous blue eyes, tiny little toes, and perfectly curved ears.

I am eternally grateful.

Happy Canada Day!

HAPPY CANADA DAY!



 

You Know You're a Canadian When...

(The below is borrowed from here)

You order a double-double at Timmy's.
You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
You understand the sentence, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine."
You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
You drink pop, not soda.
 You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at the camp, eh!"
You can drink legally while still a teen.
You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans.
When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
 You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap."
You know that Mounties "don't always look like that."
You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."
 You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet.
You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
 You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-doo" opus.
 You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
You know what a toque is.
 You know Toronto is not a province.
You never miss "Coaches Corner."
Back bacon and Kraft Dinner are two of your favorites food groups.

Can't Live Without You

Peanut is 11 weeks and is changing everyday. It's crazy! I wanted to put together a quick post about items that we couldn't have lived without during these first few months. Worth every damn penny!

1) Swaddle Me Wraps & Halo Sleepsacks - We learned very quickly that peanut loved to be swaddled.  During her time in the intensive care unit it was really important that she was wrapped in many blankets to keep her little 4 pound frame nice and warm.  Once she graduated out of the pile of blankets we realized she found comfort in being wrapped tightly. Enter Swaddle Me wraps. We used these until peanut was 7 weeks old and until figured out that she could raise both of her legs and slam them down repeatedly until she wiggled down to the bottle of the crib (she has always been crazy strong for her size). We then transitioned to the Halo Sleepsack Swaddlers which have wider bottoms so she wasn't able to get enough power to do the crib wiggle. Peanut has always slept amazing at night and I attribute it to these awesome products. Last night she slept for 9 hours straight. Booya!

2) Tommee Tippee Pacifier - We went through four different brands before figuring out that peanut liked these.  When she was bottle feeding peanut took a pacifier no problem.  Once she learned to breastfeed she no longer would take one. It was like she forgot how to suck a pacifier but for some reason she found comfort in sucking on my finger. Peanut hates the car and being in her car seat which is a massive challenge and trying to shove my finger in her mouth while driving felt a tad dangerous to me. I eventually found a pacifier that she would take and it makes car rides much better. Phew!  We don't use a pacifier for sleeping purposes since we don't want her to become dependent on it at night.  We are however giving it to her every time we go in the car and during her "witching hour" meltdowns (only after she'd been fed, played with, changed, and comforted).  I did a lot of reading about the pros and cons of using pacifiers and decided that for our family, using them sparingly was a good fit.

3) Hospital Grade Pump Rental - My milk supply is amazing and I attribute it to the Medela hospital grade pump I rented for 2 months. I am now using a Medela home pump which does the trick now that my supply has been established.

4) The Moby Wrap - There are a ton of mixed reviews about this product. It seems people either love it and can't live without it or think it's the biggest waste of money ever.  We absolutely love it! Since peanut hates her car seat we haven't utilized the stroller as much as I thought.  We get out for a long walk once per day and use the Moby.  Peanut falls asleep in it every time! It is a pain to put on out in public since it has to dangle on the floor while putting it on but the wrap is complete washable and it super duper comfortable.  I love that it holds peanut so close to me.

5) An old school breastfeeding pillow - We call this "the nest" because the babe loves to nap in it and has since she arrived home from the hospital. She has always had an amazingly strong neck, and I'm always close by when she naps so I was comfortable with her sleeping in this. She is able to sleep on her side and slightly upright which helps with her gasiness.  It has been a lifesaver for us. Once she is old enough to wiggle around I will put a safty bed fence thing on the couch so she doesn't end up on the floor.

6) All Natural Baby Wipes - They can be used on her face and entire body and won't cause any irritation. Worth the extra money for sure. I'm not a fan of the super strong smelling big name brand wipes.

7) Exercise Ball - It has been great to bounce her when she is cranky.

8) Two Camera Video Monitor - having two cameras have enabled us to have one in her room and one in our living room.  When she naps I am able to have a shower or do tasks around the house and know that I can see and hear her because of the second camera. Totally worth the extra money to add a second camera. It's also great for traveling so we don't have to take down the camera in her room.

Volunteer Appreciation Gift

The end of the school year is just around the corner which is crazy to me. I guess time fly's when you aren't at work. Although I'm not working anymore I decided to continue to volunteer my time as my schools Breakfast Club coordinator while off for the next year which gets me back into the school every few weeks. I am so lucky to have over 20 teacher volunteers that help make the program run three mornings a week and I wanted to show them how much I appreciate their time. I didn't want to give them something that would end up in the garbage so I decided on these cute little gifts.  A  pack of EXTRA gum with a tag that says "Thank you for all of the EXTRA help with Breakfast Club this year" wrapped around it. They were super affordable and were relatively quick to make.

To all of my ECE and teacher friends - enjoy the last few weeks of school and best of luck with all the marking and report cards. Cheers!

Happy First Father's Day

My husband is not only an amazing husband and friend but he is an incredible father to peanut. I cannot wait to see his relationship with our daughter grow over the years to come.  We aren't into giving gifts for special occasions like anniversaries and Valentine's Day because we would much rather focus on spending time together however with this being my husbands first Father's Day I wanted to do something special.  I decided on a "Dates with Daddy" themed gift and came up with 9 different dates that we can do as a family. Some are free like going on a trail walk at a local conservation area and some cost money like going for ice cream or a dinner out. It will be nice to have these date ideas when we are looking for something to do.  Here are the dates I came up with;

1) Weekend away in Toronto (my father has a condo there so we will stay there)
2) Movie Night In (iTunes gift card and crunchie treats)
3) A day lounging around my mother's pool
4) A walk at the conservation area
5) Coffee delivery and snuggles at the office (Timmy's gift card)
6) A campfire (S'mores kit)
7) A day in Guelph to show the babe where Mom and Dad met
8) Dinner out at The Keg (Gift card included)
9) Ice cream at Shaw's (Gift card included)

We love you E xo

The Witching Hours?!

I would like to preface this post by setting the stage for you. I am currently typing with one hand while my shirt is up around my neck and my left boob hangs out because I'm afraid to move it in fear that I will wake up my baby who is currently cradled in my left arm. She has just fallen asleep after 5 hours of mayhem. 

During my short time of being a parent I have come across a few things that most people don't talk.  I am here to give it to you real.

Everyone and their f'n dog want to look/touch/talk to your baby. It can get weird. Especially when people want to engage in a lengthy conversation about their children and how they raised them all while you are trying to find the damn peanut butter in the grocery store while your infants screams echo through the store.

Do not, under any circumstance lift anything heavy for the 6 weeks following delivery even if you didn't have a C-section. If you do be prepared to have a ridiculously sore cooter/arse/incision. OUCH! Upon discharge from the hospital my doctor said "take it easy for the next 6 weeks".  What I took from that was "Since your blood pressure hasn't stabilized yet be sure to not run any marathons in the next 6 weeks". Wrong. I wish he had been more specific and said "Do not try to be a champion and carry your child in her car seat three blocks to her 2 week doctors appointment". Shit. Totally regretting that.

Breastfeeding does not come easily for everyone. In fact, it can be hellish and a huge mind game as you might have read in my previous Boobies post. Take advantage of the community support in your area and reach out to friends who have children whether they breastfed or not. Their support will be invaluable.

The Witching Hours - wtf?! how have I never ever ever heard of this in my entire life? When my daughter was about 7 weeks old she started losing her mind in the evenings. When I say losing her mind, I truly mean losing her mind. She screamed from 7-10pm and nothing, not even feeding her could calm her down. My husband and I had no idea what was wrong with her. Thank God my girlfriend Katie was with me one evening when this happened and mentioned that her son did the same thing and that it was in fact very common and even had a name called the witching hours. Seriously? Ugh - what a sigh of relief! We now can anticipate her "Witching Hours" and try to combat it the best we can.  Most of the time and nice long evening walk in The Moby followed by some bouncing on our exercise ball does the trick. I say most of the time because today those tactics clearly didn't work, hence the boob hanging out while typing.

Those are the three biggest "secrets" at this point that I thought I would disclose. With all of that being said, Motherhood is treating me very well.  Our peanut is amazing and I am absolutely loving being a Mom. There are hard days and amazing days but each day is truly a blessing.  I am one lucky lady.

Baked Asparagus Sticks

Picture & pecipe adapted from here

Ok, so I'm going to be a little offside here and talk about pee. I cannot for the life of me figure out the answer to this question so if you have any knowledge on this topic please enlighten me.  I've heard time and time again that asparagus makes urine smell. This has never happened to me or my husband so I only know this because people have told me. So tell me this --- is because our urine doesn't actually smell, or because we are unable to detect the smell of the urine?!? WEIRD!

Now that we've all lost our appetite here is a recipe I found on Pinterest for Baked Asparagus Sticks.  We've been eating a ton of the green stuff since we have an asparagus farm down the road from us and the in-laws have a huge garden filled with it so I wanted to come up with a few different ways to serve it. These turned out delicious and can be eaten with your hands - score!




Ingredients

1 bunch asparagus, trimmed

1/4 cup flour

2 eggs, lightly beaten

3/4 cup panko breadcrumbs

1/4 cup parmigiano reggiano (parmesan), grated

salt and pepper to taste (I added steak spice as well)

 

Method

Coat asparagus in the flour, dip in the egg and then into a mixture of the panko, parmesan, salt and pepper. Place the asparagus in a single layer on a wire rack on a baking sheet and bake in a preheated 425F oven until golden brown, about 9 minutes.

'Mint to Be' Favours

This past weekend I co-hosted a bridal shower for my dearest friend Katie.  The weather was perfect, the company was awesome, and the bride-to-be seemed to have a lovely time.  One of the tasks that I was responsible for was favours.  The guest list was 30+ people so I didn't want to go overboard with the spending.  I decided on these cute little Mentos favourites with "MINT TO BE" tags on them.  All I did was wrap them in scrapbook paper and tape them along the seams.  The tags were made in Microsoft Word and printed on cardstock and attached with thin ribbon. As a non-crafter I think they turned out super cute.

 



 

 

 

Weight Loss

I'm pretty fortunate that I lost most of my pregnancy weight in the two weeks following delivery and have about 5 more pounds to go. Most of my weight gain was water weight from the preeclampsia and lets face it, I'm not the smallest woman around so I didn't need to gain a lot of weight to support babe. I had packed on some weight during the 4 months of hormone therapy for our fertility treatment so I didn't actually gain anything until week 15 of pregnancy. I've never been much of a dieter - my weight, although higher than I want it to be, has always been fairly stable.  I saw this cute idea on Pinterest and thought I would try it out.  It will give me a little accountability.  I decided that 25 lbs would be the number I'm striving to lose over the next 6ish months. I say 6ish because it might end up taking me 12...or 24. HA! I'm not going hardcore with it or anything so we'll see.  I will make healthier choices but by no means will eliminate entire food groups or be pumping iron everyday.  Now that I'm fully recovered from my preeclampsia and delivery I will be able to get out and walk more frequently and get my heart rate up. This beautiful weather will likely help with the motivation as well. I'm also trying out the 30 day Ab Challenge. Not sure how that will go... Wish me luck...

Boobies.

During my pregnancy I kept imaging what delivery would be like. I pictured myself of having my new baby rest on my bare chest for her first hours of her life. Because our little peanut was born at 4 lbs 5 ounces and had to spend 5 days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), that went out the window. She spent the first 30 hours of her life in an incubator hooked up to monitors to  make sure she as healthy. I was able to do 30 minutes of skin on skin with her once within that time period. I have read that skin on skin is extremely important for milk production so my fear was that this would inhibit my supply. I was also on medication for my preeclampsia that could possibly delay my milk coming in. Yup. Sure did.  These factors along with the fact that our peanut was super duper petite and couldn't latch made it impossible to nurse her at first. Enter 'The Pump'. While in the hospital I was pumping every 2 hours and once home it was every 3 hours. Ugh. That f'n pump...

Once discharged from the NICU I made it a point to put peanut to breast before most bottle feeds to get her thinking about nursing.  While in the hospital I saw 3 lactation consultants, all of which focused their time on finding ways to get my supply to come in, rather than getting peanut to latch.  Once discharged we were hooked up with another lactation consultant at the out-patient nutrition follow-up clinic for peanut.  While helpful, their number one concern was to make sure peanut was healthy, getting breast milk if possible and gaining weight, which she was. Their priority was never to get her to breast. I moved onto a Lactation Consultant from Public Health who was really sweet, but her focus was seeing how I was doing mentally, and was FAR too timid to be helpful with breastfeeding. Lets be honest, you need someone willing to manhandle the fun bags, and this girl certainly wasn't willing to. Onto the next.  I went to a clinic that was relatively busy so I didn't get the one-on-one help I had hoped for, and therefore it wasn't very helpful. Onto the next. I then visited a local Lactation Consellor that I had heard a ton of great things about.  She lifted my spirits by reminding me that I shouldn't feel guilty for bottle feeding, because 'feeding the baby is your job', however beyond that she wasn't very helpful.  At this point my daughter was 5.5 weeks old. We had been trying to breastfeed for quite some time with no success.  Needless to say I was feeling defeated and was about to give up.  We had tried everything - pumping a little before nursing, finger feeding, Supplemental Feeding System - nothing was working. Onto the next.  I had told myself that this would be my last attempt. It would be my 8th lactation professional in 6 weeks and it was getting to be a little too draining on me.

Then I met my hero - Carol. She is truly the Baby Whisperer, or tit whisperer as I like to call her. She is a doula and lactation consultant who really knows her shit. Within 5 days she had peanut breastfeeding exclusively. It was hell on earth to get to that point but it was completely worth it.  She worked with us one-on-one for five days, tweaked our feeding position and took the time to educate me on the entire process. Carol took the time to hear our story, to listen to my concerns, was compassionate to peanuts preemie situation, and offered support like no other.  We haven't perfected the nursing thing yet but we are certainly out of the woods now. I was told time and time again that peanut probably wouldn't be able to breastfeed since she had been used to the bottle and it is a very tough habit to break. Yes, it was an extremely hard habit to break but it wasn't impossible. I lost my mind a few times last week but it was completely worth it.

This long winded story was to tell you that Carol Peat at Babies Naturally is an absolute guru and is highly recommended!  If you or anyone you know is having an issues with nursing contact Carol - she will be able to help you.

Chicken Noodle Soup

Today was the first time I left the house without my new wing-woman and it was weird! The entire time I was running errands I had the feeling that I was forgetting something.  It was nice to get out and have some alone time. I wish I could say that I went to get a pedicure, or massage, or met a girlfriend for coffee.  I went to the grocery store and Walmart - woot woot! Grabbed some groceries and came home to make a batch of homemade Chicken noodle soup.  My sister-in-law and her husband are expecting their first little one any day now and I wanted to be prepared to drop off a little something when they arrive home from the hospital. Noodle Soup it is!

Yeild: 6 servings

Pic and original recipe from here

Ingredients
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, peeled and diced
4 celery stalks, small-diced
4 carrots, peeled and small-diced
1 clove garlic, minced
2 bay leaves
1/2 teaspoon dried parsley
salt and pepper
4 cups chicken stock
3 cups cooked chicken, shredded (I used a rotisserie chicken from the store)
2 cups wide egg noodles

Method
In a large pot over medium, heat olive oil. Add the onion, celery, carrots, garlic, bay leaves, parsley and salt and pepper. Cook until the vegetables soften, about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the stock and simmer for 10 minutes. Stir in the chicken and noodles and simmer until the noodles are cooked, about 10 minutes more. Bam, Done!

Bella Jacks

One of my absolute favourite places to go for dinner is a quaint little Mexican place in St. Thomas called Bella Jacks.  When it comes to eating out I don't like stuffy, fancy, expensive restaurants. This place has amazing food, fantastic service, and killer margaritas all for a great price. If you plan on going on a weekend make sure you make a reservation or expect to wait at least 30 minutes for a table.  My personal favourite is the chicken burritos, a blended margarita, and deep fried ice-cream with honey for dessert. I'm drooling just thinking about it.

Our Peanuts Birth Story

For those of you who have absolutely no interest in reading my birth story I am not offended. Feel free to skip this post. Anyone who is going to read this; don't worry, I didn't include the gory details.

34 Weeks
At my 34 week OB appointment everything was a-ok, as usual.  Blood pressure and urine test checked out perfect. 3 days later I had my best friends Bachelorette party and we were getting pedicures done and I really noticed that my feet and lower legs were extremely swollen and my face was sore too (felt like bruising).  Pfff, didn't think anything of it since I heard that pregnancy usually results in swollen feet.  That night we were out tearing up the dance floor until 2am.  Obviously the next day I didn't feel like myself.  Again, I attributed it to regular pregnancy symptoms and the fact that I was droppin' it like it was hot until the wee morning hours the night prior.

35 Weeks
A few days later I still hadn't shaken the weird feeling and came home from work with a migraine like no other.  My husband insisted that I head to the hospital in the morning and not go into work.  I for once listened to him.  My blood pressure had shot way up and my urine had a lot of protein in it. My OB immediately pulled me from work and explained that I had preeclampsia and that I would have to deliver early.   She immediately put me on a medication to regulate my blood pressure and sent me down to the birthing unit so they could check out the baby to see if she was showing signs of stress. If she did in fact show any signs I would be induced immediately. SAY WHAT?! If I were 37 weeks along I would have 100% been induced that day.Thankfully little peanut checked out totally fine which means we dodged being induced that day.  The following day I was back for an hour long ultrasound to again check the baby and to run a bunch more tests on me. The verdict was that my kidneys and liver were showing signs of stress but baby was holding up well. At this point I was 6 days shy of 36 weeks.  The goal was to get me and babe to 36 weeks without causing either of us permanent damage. I was tracked every other day until I was 36 weeks using urine and blood testing, blood pressure checks, detailed ultrasound, and baby heart monitoring.

36 Weeks
At 36 weeks to the day which happened to be April Fools Day, I went to my check up in denial. So much so that told my husband to go to work since I was convinced that my OB would give our little peanut one more week to bake. Plus, I had a list of errands I needed to do after my appointment and my hospital bag was at home. I couldn't possibility be induced that day!!! Wrong. D-day had arrived. Immediately after my check up I was sent down to the birthing unit to have a propess inserted to help soften my cervix. I decided to call my husband at that point. I had to be monitored for two afters after waiting two hours to have the propess inserted. Ugh. Guess those errands weren't getting done.  After the two hours of monitoring they sent me home to wait it out.  If I began to contract on my own I was to come back once they became strong enough.  If I didn't start to contract I was due back in 12 hours so they could break my water.  At this point we were 8 hours away from dodging an April Fools Day arrival. Phew! We headed home so we could eat dinner, pack our bags and rest a bit. How lovely.... until I got home and went pee and the damn propess fell out! Son of a bitch. I called the hospital and talked to the resident that had inserted it. She wanted me back at the hospital as soon as possible. Shit. There goes that awesome pasta dinner I had my heart set on.  We quickly packed our bags and headed back to the hospital. We ended up having to wait two hours before the resident could check me. At this point the hubby and I were starving! When I was checked I was 3 cm dilated and my OB decided she was going to break my water. What?! HOLD THE PHONE! There were a few reasons why this just wasn't going to work for me.

1) It was still April Fools Day - I did not want my baby born on April Fools Day
2) I was starving! How could I concentrate on cranking a kid out when I hadn't had lunch or dinner?
3) Our bags were in the car

The Big Day(s)
So after some negotiations with my OB she agreed to let us run to the car to grab our belonging and to grab a quick bite to eat. And by 'quick bit to eat', my husband and I heard 'go have a nice sit down dinner just the two of you and relax', so we headed to East Side Mario's for some good old Italian food. We arrived back to the hospital happy campers since we had eaten up some good grub and only a few hours remained on April Fools Day. We were now 3 hours away from April 2nd. Booya!  I headed to my delivery room and ended up waiting until 10:30 PM for them to break my water which was fine with us since we had a fantastic view of down town London lite up at night and we were listening to some good tunes. Five minutes later my first contraction happened. *Sidenote: During my preadmit appointment I made it very clear that I wanted an epidural and that I didn't really care to feel any contractions

My nurse asked us to walk the halls for 1 -2 hours to help progress things.  I had never been in labour before so I thought this was protocall before having to get an epidural. We ended up walking for an hour and my contractions were getting closer together and much stronger.  We were pretty beat since it was close to midnight so we headed back to our room to hopefully catch a quick cat nap. Pffffff. Yeah right. At 12:30am I was 4 cm along and my contractions were pretty hard core.  I was wondering where the damn anesthesiologist was so I asked my nurse. Her reply was "Oh, are you ready for your epidural?" and in my head my reply was "Are you f'n kidding me ass hole? I wanted one the moment I stepped in here." but I decided that a simple "Yes" would be more effective. It was 2:15am by the time the epidural sort of kicked in (I never really got to feel the full benefit of it) and they began the Pitocin drip. at 2:30am my husband and I tried to take a quick nap. That lasted 15 minutes and I woke up to extreme pain and pressure.  I told the nurse and she had the resident come in to check me. I was 10 cm! WTF?! I had dilated 6 cm in 30 minutes. Holy crap. I was asked not to push until the OB arrived. Sure no sweat. Not. I started pushing at 3:25 and at 4:10 they asked me to stop pushing so they could call the NICU team to the room.  That moment was a huge reality check - NICU team?! I was so scared that something was going to be wrong with my baby.  At 4:20am our little 4lb 5 oz peanut entered the world and forever changed our life. We were able to hold her for 5 minutes before my husband had to carry her down to the NICU where she would stay for the next 5 days. During that 5 minutes I fell head over heels in love with her. I have heard that doesn't happen to some people so I was nervous I wouldn't get that immediate feeling but I did. It was quite overwhelming. Peanut was thankfully completely healthy (scored a 9/10 on the Apgar test) but needed to stay in the NICU to prove that should could maintain her body temperature and gain weight, which she did - Our little blonde warrior!

That in a nut shell is our peanuts birth story. It was a quick 6 hours with a few bumps in the road but all in all things went much better than I thought they would. We feel so blessed to have our little girl in our arms, especially after the long road to get her here.  Worth every needle, every tear and every doctors appointment. So much so that we'll do it all again in the future for peanut #2.

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Muffins

I haven't cooked much since we arrived home from the hospital 4 weeks ago.  Our amazing friends and family stocked our fridge and freezer with a ton of meals which we are still working on getting through.  THANK YOU! It has been an enormous help. Yesterday I decided to do some baking -- finally! I know I've posted a zillion muffin recipes but here is another one.  This isn't exactly a healthy muffin but they are absolutely delish! Enjoy!

Yield: 12 muffins

Ingredients
1/2 cup butter, softened

3/4 cup packed brown sugar

1 egg

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup applesauce

1 cup rolled oats

1 cup semisweet chocolate chips  

                                                               

Method
In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar. Beat in egg. Combine dry ingredients and add alternately with applesauce to the creamed mixture. Stir in oats and chips. Fill paper-lined muffin cups 3/4 full. Bake at 350° for 25 minutes.

Completed Nursery

IKEA finally had our dresser in stock so here are a few pictures of our completed nursery.
Most items were purchased at IKEA and homesense or are handmade.

10 things I learned throughout my pregnancy

10 unexpected things I learned through my pregnancy:

1. Even being pregnant, I am still completely sensitive to birth announcements. It is something that I am working really hard at overcoming but it is going to take time.  I'm going to be frank here and I might offend people so be warned in advance. Unplanned pregnancies are so f'n difficult for me to swallow.  It still takes at least a week for me to shake them.  It's a combination of utter jealously about their ability to reproduce without effort, and rage.  The rage comes from a place that isn't pretty and completely self absorbed, this I know.  When I find out a pregnancy isn't planned I for some reason assume that their baby wasn't and isn't wanted.  This isn't cool, I know. I need to adjust my thinking -- and in time I know I will get there.

2. Morning sickness is only for those excessively lucky.  I suffered from all day/all night sickness and contraire to what 'they' say, it lasted longer then 12 weeks! To be entirely honest though, the sickness made me know that our little munchkin was doing its' thing in there so it wasn't ALL bad. I am so grateful that I was able to manage it without medication and was able to find foods that I could keep down (hello cheese and bread!)

3. The good days are SO good!  I felt fantastic on my good days so try to take advantage of those awesome days by doing the things you love to do.

4. The kicks never, ever get old -- even the kicks to the crotch and ribs. They reassured me that our little girl was doing ok.

5. Picking a name is a bitch, especially when you are a teacher!  Even the names you have loved for years start to wear off and you will panic a bit at the responsibility of having to name your child.

6.  Finding out gender was the most amazing experience ever. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but if you want to find out - do it and have no shame!  My husband and I instantly felt more connected to our little one once we knew and it's been so wonderful to say things like "when our daughter is older..." or "She is kicking up a storm right now".

7. I've always been a planner -- my entire life.  I think the infertility issues we experienced really made me slow down and take it one day at a time and toss out the notion that I can control everything.  I haven't over thought anything throughout this pregnancy (with the exception of a stroller purchase. lol) nor have I felt overwhelmed. The nursery still sits bare, names haven't been picked, and we haven't made a single purchase yet, and I'm totally ok with it. (clearly this point was written before Nesting-Mania 2014 started in trimester three. lol)

8. I listened to my body. If I was tired I rested if I wanted something to eat I ate. If I needed a weekend alone, I didn't make plans. If something doesn't feel quite right, it probably isn't. Go to your doctor. Now.

9. For me, cravings didn't exist.  There were certainly foods that I was able to stomach on a regular basis (ie. CHEESE!) but I never had an out of the ordinary craving.

10. It is difficult to change your lifestyle and accept that you can't do what you used to, especially in the last trimester.  Physically I have been very limited in this pregnancy.  I spend the first 23 days of pregnancy on bed rest due to my OHSS and fluid in my lungs.  In my last trimester I developed preeclampsia which means I have to keep my heart rate at bay so no physical activity. It can be frustrating. Just roll with the punches...or try to at least...

Welcome Baby xo

On April 2nd, 2014 my husband and I welcomed our baby girl to the world. She arrived 4 weeks early at 36 weeks due to preeclampsia complications.  Our hearts are bursting with love and pride with the arrival of our little peanut. She is absolutely perfect. 

I was induced on April 1st after my amazing OB decided that she didn't want to push it any longer.  She was confident that our baby girl was 'cooked' enough and decided that the risks to my body were too high if we were to push delivery any longer.  Turns out she made a great decision - although our little peanut was only 4 lbs 5 oz at birth, her lungs, blood sugar levels, and basically all functioning was bang on! She spent 5 days in the NICU and was discharged once she proved to the nurses that she was able to maintain her own body temperature and pack back food like nobody's business.

We are home and loving life.  I will write about my delivery experience in detail later but I want to say that everything has been 100% better than I anticipated - I'm feeling great in my new role. Off I go to feed the little peanut.

Supporting People Strugging with Infertility

I stumbled across the below write up on Facebook a few weeks ago and it really hit home.  Since I have posted in the past about our infertility journey I decided to borrow it and post it on my blog to continue spreading awareness. (The below piece was borrowed from here.)

 

A Guide To Give To Family And Friends About "Erin's" Infertility

Erin knows that you love her and want her to be happy, to be her "old self" again. But lately, she seems isolated, depressed and obsessed with the idea of having a baby. You probably have difficulty understanding why getting pregnant has coloured virtually every aspect of her daily life. Erin hopes that by reading this booklet, written by psychologists with both personal and professional experience with infertility, you will better understand the pain she is feeling. The booklet also will tell you how you can help her.

 SOME FACTS ABOUT INFERTILITY
It may surprise you to know that one out of six women who wants to have a baby cannot conceive. There are many possible reasons for this dismal statistic: blocked fallopian tubes, ovarian failure, hormonal imbalances, toxic exposure, husband's low sperm count, to name just a few. Moreover, after a woman turns 35, it becomes difficult to have a baby primarily because many of the eggs she has left are defective. All these barriers to pregnancy are physical or physiological, not psychological. Tubes don't become blocked because a woman is "trying too hard" to get pregnant. Antibodies that kill sperm will not disappear if a woman simply relaxes. And a man cannot make his sperm swim faster by developing a more optimistic outlook.

 WELL-MEANING ADVICE
When someone we care about has a problem, it is natural to try to help. If there's nothing specific that we can do, we try to give helpful advice. Often, we draw on our personal experiences or on anecdotes involving other people we know. Perhaps you recall a friend who had trouble getting pregnant until she and her husband went to a tropical island. So you suggest that Erin and her husband take a vacation, too. Erin appreciates your advice, but she cannot use it because of the physical nature of her problem. Not only can't she use your advice, the sound of it upsets her greatly. Indeed, she's probably inundated with this sort of advice at every turn. Imagine how frustrating it must be for her to hear about other couples who "magically" become pregnant during a vacation simply by making love. To Erin, who is undergoing infertility treatment, making love and conceiving a child have very little to do with one another, now. You can't imagine how hard she's been trying to have this baby and how crushed she feels every month she learns that she's failed again. Your well-meaning advice is an attempt to transform an extremely complicated predicament into a simplistic little problem. By simplifying her problem in this manner, you've diminished the validity of her emotions, making her feel psychologically undervalued. Naturally, she will feel angry and upset with you under these circumstances. The truth is: There's practically nothing concrete you can do to help Erin. The best help you can provide is to be understanding and supportive. It's easier to be supportive if you can appreciate how being unable to have a baby can be such a devastating blow.

 WHY NOT HAVING A BABY IS SO UPSETTING
Women are reared with the expectation that they will have a baby someday. They've thought about themselves in a motherhood role ever since they played with dolls. A woman may not even consider herself part of the adult world unless she is a parent. When Erin thinks she cannot have a baby, she feels like "defective merchandise." Not having a baby is literally a matter of life and death. In the Bible, Rachel was barren. She said to Jacob "Give me children or I die ..." (Genesis 30:1). Commenting on this, some sages said, "One who is childless is considered dead." So powerful are the feelings connected with barrenness that the person feels dead or wants to die. Worse, Erin is not even certain that she will never have a baby. One of the cruelest things you can do to a person is give them hope and then not come through. Modern medicine has created this double-edged sword. It offers hope where there previously was none -- but at the price of slim odds.

 WHAT MODERN MEDICINE HAS TO OFFER THE INFERTILE WOMAN
In the past decade, reproductive medicine has made major breakthroughs that enable women, who in the past were unable to have children, to now conceive. The use of drugs such as Pergonal can increase the number and size of eggs that a woman produces thereby increasing her chances of fertilization. In vitro fertilization (IVF) techniques extract a woman's eggs and mix them with sperm in a "test tube" and allow them to fertilize in a laboratory. The embryo can then be transferred back to the woman's uterus. There are many other options, as well. Despite the hope these technologies offer, they are a hard row to hoe. Some high-tech procedures are offered only at a few places, which may force Erin to travel great distances. Even if the treatment is available locally, the patient must endure repeated doctor's visits, take daily injections, shuffle work and social schedules to accommodate various procedures, and lay out considerable sums of money -- money that may or may not be reimbursed by insurance. All of this is preceded by a battery of diagnostic tests that can be both embarrassing and extremely painful.

After every medical attempt at making her pregnant, Erin must play a waiting game that is peppered with spurts of optimism and pessimism. It is an emotional roller coaster. She doesn't know if her swollen breasts are a sign of pregnancy or a side effect of the fertility drugs. If she sees a spot of blood on her underwear, she doesn't know if an embryo is trying to implant or her period is about to begin. If she is not pregnant after an IVF procedure, she may feel as though her baby died. How can a person grieve for a life that existed only in her mind? While trying to cope with this emotional turmoil, she gets invited to a baby shower or Christening, learns that a friend or colleague is pregnant, or she reads about a one-day-old infant found abandoned in a Dumpster. Can you try to imagine her envy, her rage over the inequities in life? Given that infertility permeates practically every facet of her existence, is it any wonder why she is obsessed with her quest?

Every month, Erin wonders whether this will finally be her month. If is isn't, she wonders if she can she muster the energy to try again. Will she be able to afford another procedure? How much longer will her husband continue to be supportive? Will she be forced to give up her dream? So when you speak with Erin, try to empathize with the burdens on her mind and on her heart. She knows you care about her, and she may need to talk with you about her ordeal. But she knows that there is nothing you can say or do to make her pregnant. And she fears that you will offer a suggestion that will trigger even more despair.

 WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR ERIN?
You can give her support, and don't criticize her for any steps she may be taking -- such as not attending a nephew's bris -- to protect herself from emotional trauma. You can say something like this: I care about you. After reading this booklet, I have a better idea about how hard this must be for you. I wish I could help. I'm here to listen to you and cry with you, if you feel like crying. I'm here to cheer you on when you feel as though there is no hope. You can talk to me. I care. The most important thing to remember is that Erin is distraught and very worried. Listen to what she has to say, but do not judge. Do not belittle her feelings. Don't try to pretend that everything will be OK. Don't sell her on fatalism with statements like, "What will be will be." If that were truly the case, what's the point of using medical technology to try to accomplish what nature cannot? Your willingness to listen can be of great help. Infertile women feel cut off from other people. Your ability to listen and support her will help her handle the stress she's experiencing. Her infertility is one of the most difficult situations she will ever have to deal with.

 PROBLEM SITUATIONS
Just as an ordinary room can be an obstacle course to a blind person, so can the everyday world be full of hazards for an infertile woman -- hazards which do not exist for women with children.
She goes to her sister-in-law's house for Thanksgiving. Her cousin is breast-feeding. The men are watching the football game while the women talk about the problems with their kids. She feels left out, to say the least. Thanksgiving is an example of the many holidays that are particularly difficult for her. They mark the passage of time. She remembers what came to mind last Thanksgiving -- that the next year, she would have a new son or daughter to show off to her family. Each holiday presents its own unique burden to the infertile woman. Valentine's day reminds her of her romance, love, marriage -- and the family she may never be able to create. Mother's Day and Father's Day? Their difficulties are obvious. Mundane activities like a walk down the street or going to the shopping mall are packed with land mines. Seeing women pushing baby carriages and strollers strikes a raw nerve. While watching TV, Erin is bombarded by commercials for diapers, baby food, and early pregnancy tests. At a party, someone asks how long she's been married and whether she has any kids. She feels like running out of the room, but she can't. If she talks about being infertile, she's likely to get well-intentioned advice -- just the thing she doesn't need: "Just relax. Don't worry. It will happen soon," or "You're lucky. I've had it with my kids. I wish I had your freedom." These are the kinds of comments that make her want to crawl under the nearest sofa and die. Escape into work and career can be impossible. Watching her dream shatter on a monthly basis, she can have difficulty investing energy in advancing her career. All around, her co-workers are getting pregnant. Going to a baby shower is painful -- but so is distancing herself from social occasions celebrated by her colleagues.

 THE BOTTOM LINE
Because she is infertile, life is extremely stressful for Erin. She's doing her best to cope. Please be understanding. Sometimes she will be depressed. Sometimes she will be angry. Sometimes she will be physically and emotionally exhausted. She's not going to be "the same old Erin" she used to be. She won't want to do many of the things she used to do. She has no idea when, or if, her problem will be solved. She's engaged in an emotionally and financially taxing venture with a low probability of success. Overall, only about 11 percent of those people using special fertility treatments succeed in having a baby. The odds are even lower for women over 40. The longer she perseveres, however, the greater her chances of pregnancy become. Maybe someday she will be successful. Maybe someday she will give up and turn to adoption, or come to terms with living a childless life. At present, though, she has no idea what will happen. It's all she can do to keep going from one day to the next. She does not know why this is her lot. Nobody does. All she knows is the horrible anguish that she lives with every day. Please care about her. Please be sensitive to her situation. Give her your support, she needs it and wants it.

Thanks a lot IKEA

I was hoping to hold off to do a nursery update until it was 100% completed however IKEA has decided to discontinue the dresser we wanted to purchase.  Back in early February they told me there will be a nearly identical replacement arriving a week or two after. They lied.  It is now March 30th and the dresser still isn't in stock.  A normal person would have cut their losses and gone elsewhere to purchase a dresser, however I want this dresser badly! My husband and I purchased the same one for our room a few years ago and we absolutely love it.  It was affordable, super durable and the perfect height and size to transition from a change table to our little girls dresser for years and years to come.  It looks like our babe will be making an earlier arrival then we thought so I thought I'd get a nursery update post up because the chaos starts.  Once IKEA decides to get the dresser in stock we will be able to hang out art and I will post pictures of the completed nursery.  For now, these pictures will have to do.  I am extremely happy with the progress so far. Hope you like it too!

My 'Girly' Rant

For as long as I can remember I've pictured myself having two boys 'when I grow up'.  The thought of having a girl always scared the crap out of me.  Perhaps it is because I grew up with an older brother but I was never one of those girly-girls.  I enjoyed riding bikes, building forts and playing every sport under the sun (I was shitty at all of them, but hey - I tried!). I did enjoy playing 'house' and dressing up but I was never a child that was into putting make up on, pretending to be a princess or obsessing over Disney movies and their ridiculous princess/prince storylines.

When we became pregnant I instantly had a gut feeling that I was carrying a little girl and that was so scary for me, and even more so when it was confirmed on Christmas morning.  Don't get me wrong, we were astatic, however my head began to spin and protective Mama began to surface. As a high school teacher I see the daily struggles that teenagers, specifically female teens are faced with (not that boys aren't faced with challenges, but I personally think that females have a more difficult time successfully developing through those formative years). I constantly think to myself that I would have never been able to survive being a teenage girl in todays world - the pressure, the social media, and the trends are so overwhelming.

I don't want to be a parent that deprives my child of something they want or are interested in learning more about but I do want to be a parent who protects my little girl from the ridiculous stereotypes and gender roles that exist.  I want our little girl to grow up knowing that she is loved and valued, and  an not because she is a "cutie" and "a little princess" or whatever else seems to be plastered across the chest of every girl onesie on the market, but because she is a smart, mindful and caring human being. I vow to be a parent that instils strength and values, while encouraging independence and fostering intelligence. I don't want a little girl who feels helpless without a "prince", not strong enough to chase her dreams, or thinks she is only valued because of her appearance. So often females base their self-worth on these factors and I am not willing to accept that for our little girl. I don't want her to be treated differently because of her gender. 

My husband is going to be the most amazing father -- I know this because of the way he interacts with our 2 1/2 year old nephew.  He is compassionate, fun, and willing to give100% of his attention during those intense play sessions.  My husband isn't as vocal as I am but I know his fears are similar to the ones I've stated above.  He asked me a few months ago if it would be ok to roughhouse with our daughter the way he roughhouses with our nephew. The answer was an overwhelming YES! YES! YES! I can't wait to see him playing with our daughter the way he plays with our nephew. Fun times ahead!

 My husband and I have a shit-ton to learn but I know that we are so ready to get this party started in a few short weeks. Bring it on! We are ready for you baby!