Our Next Step

After much deliberation and research my husband and I decided that starting our fertility treatment journey by participating in a clinical study felt right to us.  It would give us a chance to learn to navigate the crazy world of assisted reproductive technology all while not having to pay a cent (a regular cycle of IVF costs about $12,000). Since it take the average infertile couple 3 attempts at fertility treatment before experiencing success we figured we didn't have anything to lose.  I won't get into much detail about the study because I could probably write a 4,000 word post just on that so if you want to learn more check out it out here. I started hormone injections the day we signed our consent papers in late April, which I was so grateful for because it didn't give me any time to worry or get worked up since I had a fear of needles. It was go time. Unfortunately this cycle of fertility treatment came during a very stressful time at work -- in retrospect this was not ideal at all. I had to be on bed rest for 6 days and we also had to travel to and from Toronto (during rush hour I might add) for my procedures.  It was all a whirl wind and took a total of 21 days from the beginning of injections to our embryo transfer date.  They were able to retrieve 13 mature eggs, 7 of which fertilized into embryos. We decided to transfer 1 three day embryo because we weren't ready to commit to the idea of multiples at that point. We froze the remaining 6 embryos, of which two were very strong. We ended up experiencing a early miscarriage (chemical pregnancy) from that procedure which was devastating...heartbreak hell. I decided to make an appointment with my fertility specialist three days later to discuss the next step.  I am so glad I decided to do that because it turns out my husband and I found such comfort in focusing on the next step (whatever it was going to be) and enabled us to move forward from our loss.

The first procedure taught us so much in such a short period of time. For those who are going into their first cycle, here are some helpful hints that I wish I knew before going into our first cycle.

1. If possible try to have the procedure done close to home.  If this isn't an option try to stay at a hotel the night before and the night of your procedures.  While it is cost effective to stay with friends or family, this is a very difficult/crazy time and you might want to have a space all to yourselves.

2. Listen to your body!  My ovaries swelled to the size of grapefruits and I was in agony.  In retrospect I should have spoken up more to my Doctors when I was feeling uncomfortable.

3. Don't be afraid to ask for more pain meds during the egg retrieval.  My body didn't take to the freezing and I ended up feeling the entire thing. Hell I tell you.  You shouldn't have to suffer through any of this.

4.  Use a heat pad to relieve discomfort after your egg retrieval (but NOT after your embryo transfer -- heat isn't good for the lil' guys)

5. Bring snacks and drinks for you and your hubby to all of your procedures.  Wait times can be long and after the 12 hour fast before your egg retrieval you'll want to eat something when you get out of the operating room.

6. Bring music and reading material for you and hubby.  A great distraction.

7.  Bring warm socks to wear in the operating room

8. Take time off work! I should have taken more time off but I didn't realize it at the time. Sick time is there to use -- use it.  If you need to take a short term medical leave, do it.  Stress levels mess with the chances of becoming pregnant.

9. Don't feel like you have to go through it alone.  If you have a few people in your life that you can tell, then tell them.  I personally felt so alone after my chemical pregnancy --- I really regret not telling more people.

10. During your stimulation phase pamper yourself - get  a massage, get your nails done - whatever floats your boat.

11. Eat something before your morning self-injections. I learned this one the hard way...

12. Ask for help when you need it. Don't be a hero. If you can't face doing your own injections ask your husband.  If you don't feel like going to social gatherings say no.  If you don't feel like cooking get take out of ask the hubby to cook. I carried on with my life as is during my first procedure and I shouldn't have.

The main thing I learned from my first cycle is to live in the moment and learn to let go.  There is no point on focusing on the past and what we can't change.  Looking too far into the future can be so draining as well. With fertility treatment we cannot predict the future so why worry about it.  Live in the moment and try to be grateful -- grateful for technology, grateful for your amazing marriage, grateful for the many wonderful things that you have going on in your life. Life can still be great, whether you are infertile or not.