Boobies.

During my pregnancy I kept imaging what delivery would be like. I pictured myself of having my new baby rest on my bare chest for her first hours of her life. Because our little peanut was born at 4 lbs 5 ounces and had to spend 5 days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), that went out the window. She spent the first 30 hours of her life in an incubator hooked up to monitors to  make sure she as healthy. I was able to do 30 minutes of skin on skin with her once within that time period. I have read that skin on skin is extremely important for milk production so my fear was that this would inhibit my supply. I was also on medication for my preeclampsia that could possibly delay my milk coming in. Yup. Sure did.  These factors along with the fact that our peanut was super duper petite and couldn't latch made it impossible to nurse her at first. Enter 'The Pump'. While in the hospital I was pumping every 2 hours and once home it was every 3 hours. Ugh. That f'n pump...

Once discharged from the NICU I made it a point to put peanut to breast before most bottle feeds to get her thinking about nursing.  While in the hospital I saw 3 lactation consultants, all of which focused their time on finding ways to get my supply to come in, rather than getting peanut to latch.  Once discharged we were hooked up with another lactation consultant at the out-patient nutrition follow-up clinic for peanut.  While helpful, their number one concern was to make sure peanut was healthy, getting breast milk if possible and gaining weight, which she was. Their priority was never to get her to breast. I moved onto a Lactation Consultant from Public Health who was really sweet, but her focus was seeing how I was doing mentally, and was FAR too timid to be helpful with breastfeeding. Lets be honest, you need someone willing to manhandle the fun bags, and this girl certainly wasn't willing to. Onto the next.  I went to a clinic that was relatively busy so I didn't get the one-on-one help I had hoped for, and therefore it wasn't very helpful. Onto the next. I then visited a local Lactation Consellor that I had heard a ton of great things about.  She lifted my spirits by reminding me that I shouldn't feel guilty for bottle feeding, because 'feeding the baby is your job', however beyond that she wasn't very helpful.  At this point my daughter was 5.5 weeks old. We had been trying to breastfeed for quite some time with no success.  Needless to say I was feeling defeated and was about to give up.  We had tried everything - pumping a little before nursing, finger feeding, Supplemental Feeding System - nothing was working. Onto the next.  I had told myself that this would be my last attempt. It would be my 8th lactation professional in 6 weeks and it was getting to be a little too draining on me.

Then I met my hero - Carol. She is truly the Baby Whisperer, or tit whisperer as I like to call her. She is a doula and lactation consultant who really knows her shit. Within 5 days she had peanut breastfeeding exclusively. It was hell on earth to get to that point but it was completely worth it.  She worked with us one-on-one for five days, tweaked our feeding position and took the time to educate me on the entire process. Carol took the time to hear our story, to listen to my concerns, was compassionate to peanuts preemie situation, and offered support like no other.  We haven't perfected the nursing thing yet but we are certainly out of the woods now. I was told time and time again that peanut probably wouldn't be able to breastfeed since she had been used to the bottle and it is a very tough habit to break. Yes, it was an extremely hard habit to break but it wasn't impossible. I lost my mind a few times last week but it was completely worth it.

This long winded story was to tell you that Carol Peat at Babies Naturally is an absolute guru and is highly recommended!  If you or anyone you know is having an issues with nursing contact Carol - she will be able to help you.

Chicken Noodle Soup

Today was the first time I left the house without my new wing-woman and it was weird! The entire time I was running errands I had the feeling that I was forgetting something.  It was nice to get out and have some alone time. I wish I could say that I went to get a pedicure, or massage, or met a girlfriend for coffee.  I went to the grocery store and Walmart - woot woot! Grabbed some groceries and came home to make a batch of homemade Chicken noodle soup.  My sister-in-law and her husband are expecting their first little one any day now and I wanted to be prepared to drop off a little something when they arrive home from the hospital. Noodle Soup it is!

Yeild: 6 servings

Pic and original recipe from here

Ingredients
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, peeled and diced
4 celery stalks, small-diced
4 carrots, peeled and small-diced
1 clove garlic, minced
2 bay leaves
1/2 teaspoon dried parsley
salt and pepper
4 cups chicken stock
3 cups cooked chicken, shredded (I used a rotisserie chicken from the store)
2 cups wide egg noodles

Method
In a large pot over medium, heat olive oil. Add the onion, celery, carrots, garlic, bay leaves, parsley and salt and pepper. Cook until the vegetables soften, about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the stock and simmer for 10 minutes. Stir in the chicken and noodles and simmer until the noodles are cooked, about 10 minutes more. Bam, Done!

Bella Jacks

One of my absolute favourite places to go for dinner is a quaint little Mexican place in St. Thomas called Bella Jacks.  When it comes to eating out I don't like stuffy, fancy, expensive restaurants. This place has amazing food, fantastic service, and killer margaritas all for a great price. If you plan on going on a weekend make sure you make a reservation or expect to wait at least 30 minutes for a table.  My personal favourite is the chicken burritos, a blended margarita, and deep fried ice-cream with honey for dessert. I'm drooling just thinking about it.

Our Peanuts Birth Story

For those of you who have absolutely no interest in reading my birth story I am not offended. Feel free to skip this post. Anyone who is going to read this; don't worry, I didn't include the gory details.

34 Weeks
At my 34 week OB appointment everything was a-ok, as usual.  Blood pressure and urine test checked out perfect. 3 days later I had my best friends Bachelorette party and we were getting pedicures done and I really noticed that my feet and lower legs were extremely swollen and my face was sore too (felt like bruising).  Pfff, didn't think anything of it since I heard that pregnancy usually results in swollen feet.  That night we were out tearing up the dance floor until 2am.  Obviously the next day I didn't feel like myself.  Again, I attributed it to regular pregnancy symptoms and the fact that I was droppin' it like it was hot until the wee morning hours the night prior.

35 Weeks
A few days later I still hadn't shaken the weird feeling and came home from work with a migraine like no other.  My husband insisted that I head to the hospital in the morning and not go into work.  I for once listened to him.  My blood pressure had shot way up and my urine had a lot of protein in it. My OB immediately pulled me from work and explained that I had preeclampsia and that I would have to deliver early.   She immediately put me on a medication to regulate my blood pressure and sent me down to the birthing unit so they could check out the baby to see if she was showing signs of stress. If she did in fact show any signs I would be induced immediately. SAY WHAT?! If I were 37 weeks along I would have 100% been induced that day.Thankfully little peanut checked out totally fine which means we dodged being induced that day.  The following day I was back for an hour long ultrasound to again check the baby and to run a bunch more tests on me. The verdict was that my kidneys and liver were showing signs of stress but baby was holding up well. At this point I was 6 days shy of 36 weeks.  The goal was to get me and babe to 36 weeks without causing either of us permanent damage. I was tracked every other day until I was 36 weeks using urine and blood testing, blood pressure checks, detailed ultrasound, and baby heart monitoring.

36 Weeks
At 36 weeks to the day which happened to be April Fools Day, I went to my check up in denial. So much so that told my husband to go to work since I was convinced that my OB would give our little peanut one more week to bake. Plus, I had a list of errands I needed to do after my appointment and my hospital bag was at home. I couldn't possibility be induced that day!!! Wrong. D-day had arrived. Immediately after my check up I was sent down to the birthing unit to have a propess inserted to help soften my cervix. I decided to call my husband at that point. I had to be monitored for two afters after waiting two hours to have the propess inserted. Ugh. Guess those errands weren't getting done.  After the two hours of monitoring they sent me home to wait it out.  If I began to contract on my own I was to come back once they became strong enough.  If I didn't start to contract I was due back in 12 hours so they could break my water.  At this point we were 8 hours away from dodging an April Fools Day arrival. Phew! We headed home so we could eat dinner, pack our bags and rest a bit. How lovely.... until I got home and went pee and the damn propess fell out! Son of a bitch. I called the hospital and talked to the resident that had inserted it. She wanted me back at the hospital as soon as possible. Shit. There goes that awesome pasta dinner I had my heart set on.  We quickly packed our bags and headed back to the hospital. We ended up having to wait two hours before the resident could check me. At this point the hubby and I were starving! When I was checked I was 3 cm dilated and my OB decided she was going to break my water. What?! HOLD THE PHONE! There were a few reasons why this just wasn't going to work for me.

1) It was still April Fools Day - I did not want my baby born on April Fools Day
2) I was starving! How could I concentrate on cranking a kid out when I hadn't had lunch or dinner?
3) Our bags were in the car

The Big Day(s)
So after some negotiations with my OB she agreed to let us run to the car to grab our belonging and to grab a quick bite to eat. And by 'quick bit to eat', my husband and I heard 'go have a nice sit down dinner just the two of you and relax', so we headed to East Side Mario's for some good old Italian food. We arrived back to the hospital happy campers since we had eaten up some good grub and only a few hours remained on April Fools Day. We were now 3 hours away from April 2nd. Booya!  I headed to my delivery room and ended up waiting until 10:30 PM for them to break my water which was fine with us since we had a fantastic view of down town London lite up at night and we were listening to some good tunes. Five minutes later my first contraction happened. *Sidenote: During my preadmit appointment I made it very clear that I wanted an epidural and that I didn't really care to feel any contractions

My nurse asked us to walk the halls for 1 -2 hours to help progress things.  I had never been in labour before so I thought this was protocall before having to get an epidural. We ended up walking for an hour and my contractions were getting closer together and much stronger.  We were pretty beat since it was close to midnight so we headed back to our room to hopefully catch a quick cat nap. Pffffff. Yeah right. At 12:30am I was 4 cm along and my contractions were pretty hard core.  I was wondering where the damn anesthesiologist was so I asked my nurse. Her reply was "Oh, are you ready for your epidural?" and in my head my reply was "Are you f'n kidding me ass hole? I wanted one the moment I stepped in here." but I decided that a simple "Yes" would be more effective. It was 2:15am by the time the epidural sort of kicked in (I never really got to feel the full benefit of it) and they began the Pitocin drip. at 2:30am my husband and I tried to take a quick nap. That lasted 15 minutes and I woke up to extreme pain and pressure.  I told the nurse and she had the resident come in to check me. I was 10 cm! WTF?! I had dilated 6 cm in 30 minutes. Holy crap. I was asked not to push until the OB arrived. Sure no sweat. Not. I started pushing at 3:25 and at 4:10 they asked me to stop pushing so they could call the NICU team to the room.  That moment was a huge reality check - NICU team?! I was so scared that something was going to be wrong with my baby.  At 4:20am our little 4lb 5 oz peanut entered the world and forever changed our life. We were able to hold her for 5 minutes before my husband had to carry her down to the NICU where she would stay for the next 5 days. During that 5 minutes I fell head over heels in love with her. I have heard that doesn't happen to some people so I was nervous I wouldn't get that immediate feeling but I did. It was quite overwhelming. Peanut was thankfully completely healthy (scored a 9/10 on the Apgar test) but needed to stay in the NICU to prove that should could maintain her body temperature and gain weight, which she did - Our little blonde warrior!

That in a nut shell is our peanuts birth story. It was a quick 6 hours with a few bumps in the road but all in all things went much better than I thought they would. We feel so blessed to have our little girl in our arms, especially after the long road to get her here.  Worth every needle, every tear and every doctors appointment. So much so that we'll do it all again in the future for peanut #2.

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Muffins

I haven't cooked much since we arrived home from the hospital 4 weeks ago.  Our amazing friends and family stocked our fridge and freezer with a ton of meals which we are still working on getting through.  THANK YOU! It has been an enormous help. Yesterday I decided to do some baking -- finally! I know I've posted a zillion muffin recipes but here is another one.  This isn't exactly a healthy muffin but they are absolutely delish! Enjoy!

Yield: 12 muffins

Ingredients
1/2 cup butter, softened

3/4 cup packed brown sugar

1 egg

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup applesauce

1 cup rolled oats

1 cup semisweet chocolate chips  

                                                               

Method
In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar. Beat in egg. Combine dry ingredients and add alternately with applesauce to the creamed mixture. Stir in oats and chips. Fill paper-lined muffin cups 3/4 full. Bake at 350° for 25 minutes.

Completed Nursery

IKEA finally had our dresser in stock so here are a few pictures of our completed nursery.
Most items were purchased at IKEA and homesense or are handmade.

10 things I learned throughout my pregnancy

10 unexpected things I learned through my pregnancy:

1. Even being pregnant, I am still completely sensitive to birth announcements. It is something that I am working really hard at overcoming but it is going to take time.  I'm going to be frank here and I might offend people so be warned in advance. Unplanned pregnancies are so f'n difficult for me to swallow.  It still takes at least a week for me to shake them.  It's a combination of utter jealously about their ability to reproduce without effort, and rage.  The rage comes from a place that isn't pretty and completely self absorbed, this I know.  When I find out a pregnancy isn't planned I for some reason assume that their baby wasn't and isn't wanted.  This isn't cool, I know. I need to adjust my thinking -- and in time I know I will get there.

2. Morning sickness is only for those excessively lucky.  I suffered from all day/all night sickness and contraire to what 'they' say, it lasted longer then 12 weeks! To be entirely honest though, the sickness made me know that our little munchkin was doing its' thing in there so it wasn't ALL bad. I am so grateful that I was able to manage it without medication and was able to find foods that I could keep down (hello cheese and bread!)

3. The good days are SO good!  I felt fantastic on my good days so try to take advantage of those awesome days by doing the things you love to do.

4. The kicks never, ever get old -- even the kicks to the crotch and ribs. They reassured me that our little girl was doing ok.

5. Picking a name is a bitch, especially when you are a teacher!  Even the names you have loved for years start to wear off and you will panic a bit at the responsibility of having to name your child.

6.  Finding out gender was the most amazing experience ever. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but if you want to find out - do it and have no shame!  My husband and I instantly felt more connected to our little one once we knew and it's been so wonderful to say things like "when our daughter is older..." or "She is kicking up a storm right now".

7. I've always been a planner -- my entire life.  I think the infertility issues we experienced really made me slow down and take it one day at a time and toss out the notion that I can control everything.  I haven't over thought anything throughout this pregnancy (with the exception of a stroller purchase. lol) nor have I felt overwhelmed. The nursery still sits bare, names haven't been picked, and we haven't made a single purchase yet, and I'm totally ok with it. (clearly this point was written before Nesting-Mania 2014 started in trimester three. lol)

8. I listened to my body. If I was tired I rested if I wanted something to eat I ate. If I needed a weekend alone, I didn't make plans. If something doesn't feel quite right, it probably isn't. Go to your doctor. Now.

9. For me, cravings didn't exist.  There were certainly foods that I was able to stomach on a regular basis (ie. CHEESE!) but I never had an out of the ordinary craving.

10. It is difficult to change your lifestyle and accept that you can't do what you used to, especially in the last trimester.  Physically I have been very limited in this pregnancy.  I spend the first 23 days of pregnancy on bed rest due to my OHSS and fluid in my lungs.  In my last trimester I developed preeclampsia which means I have to keep my heart rate at bay so no physical activity. It can be frustrating. Just roll with the punches...or try to at least...